1. Texting: “Yeah, she totally fell for it. She thinks I’m that Skaarsgard guy. I am *SO* getting laid tonight.”

  2. Olivia’s looking nice and nippley today.

  3. “Why is there a reminder alarm ringing on your phone to buy shrimp?”
    “It’s a work thing. Can we swing by Whole Foods on the way home?”

  4. Is he checking out her latest nude pics?

  5. PJ Bandit

    Curious, I just got a text from my doctor if I wanted a check up or at least a free shot of antibiotics. He sounded concerned.

  6. LLBL

    Cunt Mode, Engaged.

  7. “Anywhere you want to go is fine. Oh wait—no seafood.”

  8. “Oh no! According to this you went over your minutes!”

  9. -”Um, I just googled and it says Brett Ratner shrimp-fucked you?”

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