superficial

  1. dontkillthemessenger

    Based on what we know about the size of Val Kilmer’s head, is it safe to say that hat size is Hula Hoop?

  2. “So where was I? Right, so for my most recent movie, they paid me in the most delicious Pastrami and cornbeef sandwich you could ever imagine”

  3. That was a lob

    picturing Meester’s ass before him

  4. DeucePickle

    Why was Ke$ha at Comic Con ?

  5. Invisible cheeseburger.

  6. Dick Hell

    You can always tell when somebody is describing Goatse.

  7. Chuck Nunchuck

    Aliens.

  8. cc

    No shit, I had a hematoma this size.

  9. Bloat and hat
    Bloat and hat
    Just how did I get so fat
    Bloat and hat
    Bloat and hat
    By eating to much of this and that

  10. I gotta tip my hat to the guy, he let himself go and he just doesn’t give a shit.

  11. Just here for the laughs

    Surely he’s beefing up for a future role in Marlon Brando: The Fat Years?

  12. EricLr

    And then I spent my last bit of money on a pile of cocaine *this* big.

  13. Billybob

    “I once ate a cheeseburger THIS–no wait. I twice ate a… no wait…”

  14. fartbucket

    About time Axl shaved off that stupid mustache.

  15. BlackAndWhite.Minstrel

    Ok, it’s a book…it’s a comic boo…aw fuck.

  16. Pirate Hunter

    “Yeah, I think I remember…you’re talking about that part in Heat where Al yelled something about a ‘GREAT ASS’…yeah, that was pretty cool…”

  17. Senor Trout

    1/3 Truman Capote + 1/3 Marlon Brando + 1/3 Corky from Wonder Years all adds up to 1 Val Kilmer.

  18. Double D

    It’s nice to see that the Nazi whose face melted at the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark has put some weight back on.

  19. Perplexity

    Ladies and gentlemen, introducing Tom Arnold!!

  20. Joe

    I want a cheeseburger thiiiisssss big.

  21. Kitty

    and the Boston Brute was THIS BIG…..

  22. Swearin

    In the next Top Gun movie some asshole studio exec will get the idea to make, his call sign will be changed to Fried Riceman.

  23. The Brown Streak

    “…and then I took Willow by the head and…”

  24. The Brown Streak

    Every year at Comic Con, someone has to explain to the audience what a breast is.

  25. nice teef

    He has nice teef.

  26. M waddams

    Damn, I thought Stevie Ray Vaugn died in a helicopter crash.

  27. Bigalkie

    So, I was at my gloryhole and what comes popping through

  28. momo

    Im fatman

  29. Biff

    Neck? Meet chin. Chin? Meet neck.

  30. Ian B

    “So you push the boobies together and then you stick your face in between them, shaking your head quickly while making a motorboat sound with your lips…”

  31. Contusion

    I thought the Amish weren’t supposed to shave.

  32. mbcl

    “For the average person to get to my size their mouth would have to be this big.”

  33. Never go full Brando.

  34. Sizzler

    “Now I live in a cardboard box about thiiis big. I play the spoons for tips on street corners, its not glamorous but hey, atleast ive got this bitchin hat and this junkyard cat… all a man needs really.”

  35. a short haired girl

    is it me or is val kilmer slowly turning into van morrison?

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