superficial

  1. “OH NO! HASSELHOFF HAS GONE BLIND!”

    “That’s a statue you idiot.”

    “… oh.”

  2. If they put this statue in a public setting in Germany, they’d find it swinging from a gay disco club that night. On fire.

  3. His fake hair is still better than John Travolta’s.

  4. maoix

    Welp, so much for sleeping this week.

  5. Thank you for the nightmares, Photo Boy.

  6. Y’know, the thing about the Hoff, he’s got lifeless eyes, like a doll’s eyes. When he comes after a burger, he doesn’t seem to be livin’. Until he bites it, and those green eyes roll over white. And then—ahh, then you hear that terrible high-pitch screamin’, the floor turns red, and in spite of all the poundin’ and the hollerin’, he just rips that burger to pieces.

  7. sc4play

    Imma hafta go work for another 3 hours to get that image outta my head before I can even think about going to sleep! Cheese and crackers, Photoboy!!!

  8. “Hey there, little boy. I’m going to EAT YOU UP!”

  9. Today’s Final Five is somehow simultaneously the most disturbing and most erotic it’s ever been.

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