1. When Mariah Carey tells you to look at her stool for signs of diarrhea, you damn well stick your head in before she does it for you…

  2. “Costume hair dye, it said. Washes right out, it said. Fucking Bieber.”

  3. anonymous

    So when is he going to take off the Whiteface?

  4. Mariah made him dye his hair like that because she gets super turned on by anything that reminds her of a chocolate chip cookie.

  5. This is his punishment for bringing up the whole “I slept with Kim Kardashian” thing.

  6. Mariah wanted a pet cheetah and what Mariah wants, Mariah gets.


  8. Mange is a bitch.

  9. “Sing the Thong song!”

  10. Bob

    Nick, we know you’re second fiddle in your household, so stop pretending you’re Mr. Rourke and get your @#$% bowtie, Tattoo!

    (kids, ask your parents)

  11. Yo, what up, house boy, er, I mean home boy.

  12. JungleRed

    That is the face of a man without hope.

  13. Ruckus

    “Smiles everyone, smiles! Welcome to Fantasy Island!”

  14. mnsuperbee

    I believe that’s called mange. You may never have what we call a “human scalp” again.

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