1. Funny enough, now he sounds like James Earl Jones

  2. “Hey! I guess they have a cream out for that now!”

  3. Fish

    -> “Ahah guys, his finger is waaaay shorter than my wife’s.”

    -> “Uh, Mr. Beckham, that’s my whole fist.”

  4. Raoul

    “Did you know you can hire someone to scratch your bits? You did?!? Why the bloody hell didn’t you tell me?”

  5. me

    he said: keep going till you hit the spot……….WOUUU

  6. The Brown Streak

    Six feet of tapeworm for you, not them.

  7. Xxoo

    No, Dave… still 98.6 degrees. Just like the hundred other times you’ had me do this over the last couple of days.

  8. Cock Dr


  9. I guess he doesn’t play the entire match with his hands in his shorts. Who knew?

  10. Sin

    AHH!!! I guess her foot really can go up there. Too bad she didn’t take her shoe back with her.

  11. Finally moving beyond the Perma-Crotchgrab phase, Beckham hires a Personal Buttfondler.

  12. Cajun Joe

    Given the recent lack of respect to the dreaded “Red Card”, FIFA institutes a more serious, “Brown Card.”

  13. So he spends so much time on the front that he hired someone to look after the neglected back?

  14. Mike701

    “OY, they found where Victoria hid my balls!”

  15. spartacus

    Becks is a bell-end, never as good a player as he thought he was. Too slow, great crosser, could never dribble past any decent defender, good free kick, good engine, average tackler, defensively naive.

    • “Could never dribble past any defender” – yeah, that staple of being a passing midfielder. All the great midfielders can run rings round a whole team right? Like Lampard, Viera, Scholes, Ince…

  16. “Check it out, guys…I just hired this guy to avoid ruining my manicures. Whenever my bum itches I give him a wave and he comes scratch it for me…a little more to the right, Igor.”

  17. turd da third

    and now he speaks like Mike Tyson

  18. George P Burdell

    Hey! He found Tom Cruise!

  19. Steelerchick

    Please… Allow me to get that.

  20. brit

    yes they are gold plated. How do you think I got my nickname?

  21. Timmyfigs

    Moon River! Geez doc. Did you use the whole hand?

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