superficial

  1. Deacon Jones

    “I haven’t eaten meat in two days. I’m on a vegan di–”
    (bites off ear)

  2. “You’re wearing the Leo mask again tonight…”

  3. Inner Retard

    - I know this great steak house down the road.
    - That’s it. TALK DIRTY TO ME!

  4. Oh my god, your cologne smells like bacon

  5. George P. Burdell

    I had hoped she was his sister until I notice him playing with himself.

  6. ThisWillHurt

    “Oh my GAWD! What is that cologne your wearing?”
    “I was just in a Cold Stone Creamery.”

  7. Which one is Jonah?

  8. Steve Irwin

    At first glance I thought this was Pier 39 in San Francisco.

  9. “B-B-But Leo promised he’d be here…*sob*…I can’t believe he s-s-stood m-m-me up.”

  10. Whales typically travel in pods.

  11. JB

    “A present-self and future-self cannot occupy the same space/time” – basic time travel theory

  12. fred

    So, he is chewing up large pieces of sausage pizza with extra cheese and feeding it to her like birds feed their young? Cause that’s what this looks like to me.

    I guess fat people really are just different.

  13. There there Johah, its alright…you can’t blame Leo for not wanting to talk to fat guys just like you don’t like to talk to fat chicks…um, you asshole!

  14. Oklahoma, Oklahoma, Oklahoma!

  15. Who knew he had a twin sister?

  16. Same matter can’t occupy the same space! We’re melding blarrggg

  17. Like a vampire but not, he’s drawing all of the turkey gravy out of her.

  18. coljack

    “Jonah, I’m flattered, but I’m…oh man, how do I put this…it’s just that …your see, I’m not a chubby chaser.”

  19. A manatee and a chickatee.

  20. Odbarc

    “Leo DiCaprio”
    *she cums*

  21. brian

    How does he gain and lose weight so fucking fast? His heart must be ready to explode by now.

  22. “I’m gonna take you to a fast food joint and were gonna drink the french fry grease from the deep fat fryer!”
    “Oh Jonah! take me!,,,Take me to that restaurant!”

  23. Ken

    The Retard Whisperer

  24. Jack and Jill 2: DownsHill Racer.

  25. he looks even bigger than he was before the weight.. no wait he was in grandmas boy and was fat as fuck then too http://blog.jinni.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/jonah-hill.jpg

  26. BlackManUSAonTwitter

    “Leo’s breathe smells like heaven.”

    “tell me more Jonah!”

  27. Someone translated the Bible totally incorrectly. The story isn’t “Jonah and the Whale.” It actually said “Jonah IS the Whale.”

  28. I bet he keeps a photo of Leo in his pocket, and just rubs it against himself whenever he has to interact with anyone who is not Leo.

  29. SnarkyG

    I didn’t realize they were doing a gritty reboot of Adam Sandler’s “Jack and Jill”.

  30. jeswickston

    Wow. Really hateful comments. I think Jonah is so fun to watch on screen, and I celebrate his success whatever his size. I think the fact that he is treating the above woman with affection says a lot about him. Maybe some of the trolls here could take a lesson in kindness and dignity from Mr. Hill.

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