1. Johnny P!

    Passerby: “Hey, Kirsten! How’s the career goin’?”
    Kirsten: “Uh, excuse me… I have to get these groceries home fast!”

  2. Jellybeans and wine…oh THAT’S how she stays in…that…shape.

  3. The sunglasses are to protect her eyes from the glare off her own skin.

  4. dontkillthemessenger

    Somebody kill that thing with the new Audi headlights.

  5. The Pope

    Just the sight of a bottle gives her pokies.

  6. The Brown Streak

    Nice to see she empties her own colonoscopy bags.

  7. Lita

    Dear Superficial,
    Please stop doing this to innocent readers. I’m clicking along, like ‘Oh, Whitney Houston and Ray J. She totally looks high.’ *click* ‘OMG, the great white horror!’

  8. Yes, she does have big boobs. People don’t realize because she covers up a lot, but they are there. Big boobs. Right there. Mm hm. I mean, how can you miss them?

  9. I love a girl whose nipples get hard at the liquor store.

  10. cc

    Why the fuck is everyone at Toluca Lake?!!!

  11. cutthecrap

    Before she heads out for a day of shopping for booze, you think she would at least make herself look a little respectable. Look in a mirror, not use a closet full of clothes from 1989. I dunno, not try and look like Kirsten Dunst?

  12. G.I. Jose

    Pale white skin? Emotionless expression? Can’t act? She’s in the next Twilight movie for sure.

  13. Bigalkie

    Fetching her own party favours and she doesn’t even recycle. Plastic bags..

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