1. “Now now listen here sugartits (Mel taught me that one), if I don’t hear about how you’re planning the most amazing BJ when I get home, knuckle sandwiches are gonna fly”

  2. Alex

    “I was a gladiator. No one can defeat me. Really. No one.”

  3. tlmck

    And where have you been Mr. and what have you been doing?

  4. EricLr

    He’d already been in ten fistfights just that morning.

  5. Cookie

    If he had white hair he’d be Archie Bunker.

  6. arnieblackblack

    Him – ‘Do I not entertain you?’
    Her – ‘No’ (crosses arms, gets pissy, etc)

  7. dontkillthemessenger

    I didn’t know they were having a baby in 3 months.

  8. Selena Homez

    He was awesome in 300

  9. pretty vacant

    and then russell crowe grabbed the camera and jammed it down the paparazzi’s throat.

  10. “I told you no. No colors. Crowe’s only wear black. Our cars are black, our clothes are black. Is that so hard to understand? Music? Black Crows. Get it now?”

  11. Looks like she just found out about his tugboat.

  12. cc

    Look, you really didn’t need to hide all the ashtrays, alright?

  13. cutthecrap

    Ok, so I see the paparazzi taking pics, act real cool like I’m not verbally abusing you and ready to gladiator your ass!

  14. G.I. Jose

    Twinkies? What Twinkies?

  15. Ana

    Wha-… what are you doing out of the kitchen? OH GOD, YOU CAN TALK?!

  16. “Just a minute dear, I see an ass that needs to be kicked.”

  17. Pascalecake

    “He’s standing right beside you… he works for them… I found their pattern.”

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