superficial

  1. Never one to back down from a challenge, Cate re-enacted Woody’s “Crush all the mean accuser’s heads” game…

  2. “This is how we Aussies roll a fatty.”

  3. Hugh G. Rection

    Said Cate “No matter how emotionally or how fucked up it is that Woody married his step-daughter, I’m doing his fucking movies.”

  4. Hugh G. Rection

    Let me try that again:

    Said Cate “No matter how emotionally scarred Dylan is or how fucked up it is that Woody married his step-daughter, I’m doing his fucking movies.”

  5. “And then I told him, ‘Well, I’m sorry, but I DID date John Hamm for a few weeks. I mean, it’s not your fault it feels this small to me.’”

  6. Son of Flubber

    Cate does impromptu finger puppets of Woody fondling young little girls: “Let me finger bang you”, “No”,”Come on, I’ll put you in a movie.”

  7. Lord Helmet

    Insert very small penis joke here.

  8. Someone has stolen her sandwich.

  9. The Analyst

    One does not simply act in a Woody Allen film without copping flack

  10. Cate’s expressing now much of a fuck she gives to what we think of her being in a Woody Allen movie.

  11. Somebody please explain to Cate what an air biscuit actually is.

  12. Odbarc

    “You saw Justin Biebers dick? How small was it?”

  13. Aunt Cracker

    If all the accusations are true, I hope her kids are not exposed to Woody. Or rather he’s exposed to them. I really hope he’s not done this to Manzie as well.

    • If they are true? The motherfucker married his step-daughter that he met when she was ten, I think that pretty much says all you need to know there.

      • I’m increasingly disgusted with Woody. That being said, Soon-Yi was never his “stepdaughter.” Woody and Mia never married, they didn’t even live together, only Mia adopted Soon-Yi, and Soon-Yi herself said she thought of Woody as “Mommy’s boyfriend.” Still creepy though.

        But chew on this: in the early ’50s, Hollywood actress Gloria Grahame was married to director Nicholas Ray and bedding his 13-year-old son from a previous marriage. Ray divorced her when he found out; she remarried, divorced, then married the stepson when he was in his early 20s. (That ended in divorce, too, but only after 14 years—her longest marriage.)

        For those of you going, “Dafuq is Gloria Grahame?” you know her best as Violet Bick. Does that mean y’all are going to stop watching It’s a Wonderful Life now? Yeah, that’s what I thought.

      • Somebody has read “Hollywood Babylon” more than once, it seems. Nonetheless, that was a great story. Kudos to you sir.

      • Aunt Cracker

        Personally I believe Woody Allen is a child molester.I don’t understand why, if your’re good at what you do,there are those that believe you cannot be a monster.

  14. Jenn

    Hobbits have very small penises. About this big.

  15. “OK, so I jacked the whole statue. But in my defense, his penis is only this big and it SAG’d.”

  16. “So the Papa Duck said, ‘Where did you put my pipe?’ Then the Mama Duck said, ‘I didn’t do anything with your darned pipe. You must have left it somewhere,’ to which the Papa Duck replied…”

  17. ‘.. and the camel toe was THIS thick …’

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