Off to your house-painting job, I presume?
Great, now he’s straight-up jacking homeless people’s look…
Lady in the back. I’ll give you $50 to kick him in the ass right now.
“Yes, I did invent Space Paranoids, Matrix Blaster, Vice Squad…a whole slew of them.”
Somewhere… in one of these memories… is the answer, man!
Why is it never THIS guy found with a needle in his arm?
No, in LaBeouf’s case, its a few years too late.
Like my outfit? I copied it off some fucking asshole.
“You guyyyyyyyysssss……come on! I’m retired from public liiiiiiife-uh. Ahhhhhhh.”
He’s 27. Let’s say 35.5 is the over/under on the age when he wakes up one morning and realizes he has been a fucking moron most of his adult life.
I’ll take the over.
Well if he’s 27 then he’s definitely going to die this year. It would be too original to die when he’s 28.
The local hobo is already suing him for stealing his style of fashion.
If it walks like a douche, talks like a douche, smells like a douche…
Come on guys, he’s not famous anymore. What’s he doing on this site?
BANG! *squints through scope* Dammit! Only winged his right shoulder!
“Since Jim Varney is dead, I can steal his whole act…NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW!!”
Shia’s Budlight shirt and camo pants must be in the wash.
“Clarence! Clarence! Help me, Clarence! Get me back! Get me back, I don’t care what happens to me! Get me back to my wife and kids! Help me Clarence, please! Please! I wanna live again. I wanna live again. Please, God, let me live again. “
Really, he doesn’t have to go around looking like he’s going to slop the pigs, unless he’s a farmer, and even they get dressed up when they go into town for supplies.
“You actually remember me? But it’s been so long since I quit…I mean retired! Yeah, that’s the ticket. I retired…”
I hope aliens fly by and pick him up, maybe they’ll pull stick out of his ass. Do they probe for being a scum-bag?
I bought those same stretchy pants at Forever 21!
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Shia LaBeouf in Los Angeles. (January 31, 2014) -Photo: Fame/Flynet, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN