1. B&WMinstrel

    “What? This old thing?”

  2. He’s got diapers older than her.

  3. Swearin

    I’ve heard of “kiss OF death”, but not “kissed BY death”

  4. “Why yes, I’d LOVE a lump of sugar!”

  5. your mom

    “Will you just die, already?”

  6. Dammit! I didn’t want the next episode of “Walking Dead” spoiled for me.

  7. schmidtler

    She dresses pretty classy for a whore.

  8. “Anyone else smell mothballs and urine?”

  9. bigalkie

    This week on AmericasDirtiest Jobs!

  10. “My wife. I think I’ll keep her. Actually, I have to—now that I’m no longer working, I can’t afford any additional alimony payments.”

  11. That’s not a kiss. It’s called “lamprey therapy” and it’s the secret to his eternal existence. He just sucked three years out of her.

  12. He doesn’t pay her enough to kiss her on the mouth.

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