superficial

  1. Where will you be when the Thorazine kicks in?

  2. “Good finger painting class, honey?”

  3. Judging by those sweatpants, I’d say Britney just got back from McDonald’s.

  4. She’s all better y’all.

  5. Bertney, The Low-IQ Cooze
    by Dr. Seuss

    Up at Los Angeles…the far south of the country…
    Lives a fat former popstar, known as lil’ Bertney,
    And she walks around LA with the vacantest eyes
    Looking for nice tender McDonald’s French Fries

    Up at Los Angeles, one day, she was walking,
    Just strolling along and thinking about munching…
    (for the fast food that day was especially fine)…
    When it happened that lil’ Bertney, whose IQ was nine,
    Saw nest to her a foreigner walking.
    The man called out, “Hey!
    It’s such a long road
    And it’s such a hot day,
    Would you mind if I rode
    Your vagina for a way?”

    “Of course not!” smiled Bertney, The Low-IQ Cooze.
    “I’m happy my pee-pee place can be of some use.
    There’s room there to spare and I’m happy to share!
    Be my guest and I hope that you’re comfortable there!”

  6. Ladypants

    “I’ll let you have extra whipped cream on that gingerbread latte if you call me Wilmer Valderrama in front of the paparazzi.”

  7. Flatliner

    As a reward for learning the concept of ‘heel’, Britney’s leash and choke collar were removed. Something about those crazy eyes however makes me think they made a mistake.

  8. “Could you please pass ahead? I don’t feel safe with you walking behind me.”

  9. “Good girl! Leeeeft…….”

  10. icu

    “Okay wait! You’re going to fast. After my left foot touches the ground all the way, I lift up my right foot and put THAT ONE in front?”
    “Yes Bertney…..yes.”

  11. “Hey, I’m Wilmer Valderamma, let’s fuck”

    “Hmm, not quite sure but he looks close enough, sure, why not”

  12. Schadenfreude

    Hollywood – Where you can have the IQ of sand and the social manners of a rabid Tasmanian Devil, but if you are kinda, sorta hot and will blow the right people, you can still be rich and famous.

  13. Mohawk Disco

    - When we get to the curb you will step down.
    - I will step down.
    - Take a breath.
    - Taking a breath.

  14. Scientist (not shown) are having an intern test out the Bertney-bot 3000.

  15. What?

    Milk or cash…all cows have the same dead eyes.

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