A holiday PSA reminder for all you dads out there, put down the bottle, pay your child support, and call your kids and spend sometime with them for holidays.
“Thanks of spending time with me, dad. I love you.”
“I love you too, Laker Girls.”
“….(tee-hee)…aw golly Dad, thanks for letting me out of the basement tonight, I haven’t been outside in 7 years…”
“Shut up, son.”
The apple did not just fall from the tree. It fell, rolled down the hill, jumped up into the back of a truck, caught a steam liner to the exact opposite side of the globe and settled into a pile of crap, where it was ignored by girls.
Hanging out with your Grampa must be a lot more fun when he’s Jack Nicholson instead of an old guy who smells like pee and bourbon, and thinks your name is Billy.
Seriously, that’s Jack’s kid. He lives by the 30/30 rule when dating or marrying.
(No older than 30, no less than 30 years younger than he is).
I’d take Jack’s leftovers any day, but that’s just me…
I think we’ve hit the point where the math no longer works.
“I’m real proud of you, son. Your Christian Slater impression is getting better and better.”
“You’re my dad right ? Cause I heard it was Norm MacDonald .”
SON: “Have you ever danced with the devil in the pale moon light?”
JACK: “No, but I did tons of coke under it and got you, you little shit.”
It looks like they’re doing a spot on impersonation of Jonah and Leo’s NY premiere. Of course, they’re not the best buds that J&L are but, then again, who is?
“Son, your mother and I never got married, but that doesn’t mean I didn’t love her. I loved her very much. I even forgave her after that time I found out she slept with some kid who was playing a homeless teen on Growing Pains. Never did find out who that was, exactly…”
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