1. spartacus


  2. That’s a crack security team you got there.

  3. Those aren’t snowflakes, Pete. It’s leftover ashes from the wildfires.

  4. Cock Dr

    I don’t see how this person rates as a “celebrity”.
    Impregnating a Simpson gal just doesn’t qualify.

  5. BlackAndWhiteMinstrel

    “Mom always told me if you can’t say something nice with your eyes… don’t say nothing at all. …”

  6. Evil Dick Tater

    off-camera: delicious Fed-Ex delivery man wearing shorts

  7. Losing his grip on heterosexuality.

  8. He just found out which aisle the balls are on.

  9. Gerttastic

    Now wait, where did he get grocery money?

  10. There’s always a black lady in the background saying it all with her eyes..oh wait…….

  11. Little Tongue

    Now, lemme lick that off of you. Please?

  12. Johnny P!

    Pete: Thankth for unthicking my tongue from that frothen metal pole!
    Security guard: What a fucking retard. They don’t pay me enough for this…

  13. MrsWrong

    Looks like the cry baby got his ba-bas

  14. Alex

    Love the look on the officer. Once again, it says it all. “Look at this lil mahfucka, thinkin’ he all special and shit. I gotta go walk his lil cracka ass to da car so he don’t get robbed and shit. Lil mahfucka.”

  15. How a window licker stays in shape.

  16. Doctor Joystick

    “Ashlee came over last night and now I can’t get the taste of Vincent Piazza out of my mouth. I kinda like it!”

  17. Honestly, Pete, the aftertaste is never that great. Especially if the lady is heavy, because down there… well, bacteria.

  18. tlmck

    Worn out from answering the paper or plastic question.

  19. JungleRed

    If he’d done more of that, maybe he’d still be with ashlee simpson.

  20. squishy

    Wow, my dream man!!!! NOT

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