1. Talent, ability, large ass and black microphone.
    Kim Kardashian, take note.

    • Keyword: Talent.

    • AnnaDraconida

      Talent? Where?

    • Anton LaVey

      Dude, This idiot may have many things, but Talent????? Give me a grandmotherfucking Break! She’s the most annoying retard pretending to be a singer in the history of music. Too bad far many americans worship her cellulite filled ass. Get real, she’s ugly, talent-less and resents her nationality, I hope she never returns to Colombia!

    • Anton LaVey

      She hasn’t publicly stated something like that, that would kill her ‘career’, However it’s common knowledge (over here) that over the years she has switched her accent to Argentinian and Spanish, she hardly, if ever performs in Colombia(or even visits), this is all speculation really, but if that doesn’t suffice listen to this: she performed for the opening of the past 2 world cups, BUT declined to do so for the Sub-20 world cup 2011 that took place in Colombia! whereas she nowadays gives free concerts in Spain.
      She hates her roots, I’m sure of that, she would like to be a blonde american stereotype, and the evidence lies in the fact that she bought the rights for a telenovela she was in back when she was 18 or something.. The Reason: She doesn’t want people to see her former self. She really is an EXTREMELY arrogant and stuck-up person, next to her Kim Kardashian is as humble as mother Teresa.

  2. Dutch

    Somebody call the Ghostbusters. Slimer got out.

  3. M

    That is an impressive ass indeed but I wish she hadn’t cut her hair…

  4. Is the stylist who gave her that haircut the same one who instigated Rihanna’s BowlCutGate last year?

  5. In about 2 seconds, the audience witnessed a 10′ vertical leap.

  6. dontkillthemessenger

    This orgy seems to be missing two more black microphones.

  7. eilily

    DJ Tanner?

  8. Drew

    Still gorgeous, even mid-derp.

  9. BAHAH

    Booty, booty, booty, rockin’ everywhere!

  10. Venom

    R.I.P. to another formerly hot woman.

  11. It’s good to see how the Jessica Simpson diet is working out for Shakira…poorly.

  12. slappy magoo

    I didn’t know Markie Post used to strip…

  13. “OK, take a whiff and tell me what you think. Give up? My Farts Smell Like Butterscotch. That’s right, they smell like butt or scotch.”

  14. Powdered Toast Man, AWAY!

  15. sqrell

    I thought that was Katie Couric, eww.

  16. Poison Ivy League

    Burrito faaaarrrrtttt.

  17. Marla

    All she has to do is call her stylist and have more tied in. Did you guys think that EVERYTHING you see is real?? Most of it’s just a bunch of extensions. It’s called Cinderella hair and my hair girl does it all the time for people who have the $$ to spend.

    • So you’re saying she’s ALWAYS kept her hair short while ALWAYS using extensions in order to ALWAYS make it look long until -for some reason- right now.
      May I suggest you aim higher on your conspiracy stuff? Because, y’ know, you just zaprudered the thermite Rosswell out of freaking HAIR.

  18. Just RJ

    When did Claire Daines get a record deal?

  19. Her nano-jet pack is going to singe her ass if she actually tries to use it.

  20. sheelly

    “I’ve got the runs, guys. Watch out!”

  21. cc

    She’s about to drop a new Album called ‘Scatology’.

  22. Joe

    If you squint, looks like she is using the pyrotechnics as a bidet.

  23. A fuckable version of Kate Gosslen.

  24. imalittlepea

    Bet she takes huge dumps.

  25. John Foo

    A mexican dying her hair blonde, but everyone hates the white woman with blonde hair.

    • You know white women hate you too.

    • Also, she’s Colombian.

    • 56-James III

      Sounds quite racist, she’s not mexican, and plus people really get confused on that indefinitely.

    • Anton LaVey

      She’s colOmbian, and a fucking disgrace to our country. Like I said, stop giving the mother of all attention whores more attention, For Jeebus’ sake she’s Fucking Ugly! In Colombia she’s nowhere near being considered beautiful, and Trust me, we hate her around here, her talent is incredibly overrated and only noticeable because she’s vulgar and has a huge fat ass

  26. Yoda Mann

    This is how the terlet sees it.

  27. vanmas

    she’s Columbian idiot!

    • Anton LaVey

      She’s ColOmbian! although I’m sure she wishes she was Not!
      In the last decade, she has faked many accents: argentinian, spanish…
      And I doubt she would like to eventually live in her home country, In fact, I’m sure she resents it. She’s a shame to Colombia. and the whore has the nerve to be ashamed of her country.

  28. Melissa

    Kelly Clarkson lost weight

  29. Duke

    One of the most annoying voices singing some of the most absurd lyrics ever. Totally overrated.

  30. Lord Invader

    Since when did someone’s aunt singing karaoke become celebrity gossip?

  31. Confused

    Kate Gosselin’s surgery went well.

  32. KC

    3..2..1.. Ignition! We have lift off!

  33. YourGodBowsToMe

    HEY YOU!!!! YEAH, YOU IN THE FRONT ROW!!! DOES MY NEW HAIR MAKE MY ASS LOOK SMALLER??? Guy in the front row: “Holy shit!!! It has a head???”

  34. Larry Jones

    Is that Shakira? Nahhh. Can’t be. Shakira is hot.

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