1. “I saw that poop-pusher touch my car!!! Now you get your wetback ass to administer some justice or I’m likely to get angry…”

  2. “Oh! I thought you said ‘the rude thoughtless little pig.’ The ‘cocksucking fag’ went that way!”

  3. “I’m telling you officer, the donut shop is one black that way.”

  4. “Officer, she assaulted me! I want to press charges!”
    “Ok, Mr Baldwin, calm down..”
    “Listen you fucking dyke….FUCK!”

  5. Hugh G. Rection

    That cocksucking faggot asked me questions and tried to take my picture.

  6. “Their! In that building over their! Those executives stole my TV show!”

  7. journalschism

    “I did not call you a pig!!! Oh look, donuts!”

  8. Bonky

    I’m pretty sure I saw a homo go that way… not that I have anything
    against homo’s… or whatever they do. But you are cops and
    something should be done… you know… against those homo’s…

  9. I just get the feeling that this guy uses the same excuses for acting out that my 6 y/o comes up with. Probably lots of “they started it!”

  10. ” Look I saw those queer goo shooters over there taking my pics , so hop to it meat muncher!!! “

  11. “The Tudor Rose Restaurant? I think its back that way”

  12. “Listen Sgt. CarpetMuncher I don’t have time to sit here talking about the WNBA or giving you softball pointers. I’ve gotta get to Midtown and there’s 40 blocks of fags on floats trying to put a butt plug in traffic from here to Harlem. It’s gonna look really fucking bad if Dr. RainbowBrite McGerbilButt wipes the jizz out of his eyes long enough to mark me down as late for the tolerance seminar.”

  13. “Just a few hundred blocks that way there are black boys murdering each other by the truckload. THAT’S a story worth risking physical harm for. I’m just a stupid actor!”

  14. LLBL

    Mercedes M-Class, yeesh. Spent all his money on drugs and hookers?

  15. “”Don’t just stand there! The pick pockets robbed me and went that way! I need my wallet”
    “Why…What’s in your wallet?”

  16. Swearin

    “Mr. Baldwin, I’m such a huge fan! You have no idea how honored I am to give you this breathalyzer test.”

  17. glam

    What is with the cop’s ass? Does it have wings?

  18. whatever

    He is not gonna get old with all that screaming and yelling and fighting.
    Him and Michael Lohan are both a few overreactions away from deadly heartattacks.

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