Breast milk…. you make my daaaaaaaaaaaay.
Pissed? You think I look pissed? No, don’t look pissed. I look perfectly normal for a comedian who threw away a chance at $50M because I wouldn’t work for the Man.
Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it.
Creatine is a hell of a drug.
I’ll take a grande drip and a urine chaser, please.
Alright, I’ll take that urine sample over here, J.J.
Don’t scare the Chapelle. He scares easily and flees to his native habitat
“…because its sterile and I like the taste.”
Look at the tall skinny negro. It’s one of those Christmas drinks from Starbucks.
“Bear Grills says you never know when it will come in handy, so I travel with a bottle of it on me at all times.”
“How to Use Your Thumb as a Soda Straw. It’s a trick I learned from a tribal shaman in the Sudan.”
“Go ahead, ask me again what my next TV show is; I punch you square in the mouth and pour my urine Sobe all over your bleeding gums!”
That’s what zero gravity does to you.
“when getting real goes bad”
*When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong
I hate this motherfucker for abandoning us and leaving us with nothing but shitty comedians to listen to.
2nd that damn bastard!
I’m Rick James; Bitch!
Is it me or does he look like the turtle in the Bugs Bunny cartoons?
How come no body told how good the cheese was? This is some good mother fuckin cheese.
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Dave Chappelle at the House of Blues at the Mandalay Bay Resort and Casino in Vegas. (November 13, 2011)