1. Well we can all stop wondering why Tom Cruise kept shrinking all these years..

  2. wtf

    the trinity killer hasn’t aged a bit.

  3. BlackAndWhiteMinstrel

    “Stay away, duck, or I’ll glue you to a tree…”

  4. Bonky

    “So I looked Kim Kardashian in the face and said ‘Actress ? Getting pissed on is not acting !’ and then I reached into her pocket book and tore up her SAG card.”

  5. dontkillthemessenger

    I might have been high on coke, but I swear that midget tranny’s dick was this big.

  6. Tanzarian

    No, no, no… Duck beats paper! DUCK….BEATS…PAPER!!

  7. farting old man's wife

    My dick is this big and the midget hooker I hired was this tall! It was fantastic!!

  8. cc

    ‘Gretchen Mol’s nipples always stick out this much…just press on her shirt and you can feel them.’

  9. ChickenHawk

    “I’m crushing your head!”

    I loved The Kids in the Hall…

  10. lord john whorfin

    laugh-a while you can, monkey-boy.

  11. Guvnah

    “And then she said it was this big. I know! I know. I can’t believe it, either.”


  13. The Brown Streak

    “…and then the Big Giant Head’s ship snuck in behind us as we swooped into the Earth’s atmosphere…”

  14. This guy is awesome… loved him on Dexter.

  15. vlad

    There was that much shit on the floor and whooop! I slipped right on it

  16. CranAppleSnapple


  17. “…so then the little duck landed right on the old woman’s head…”

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