“I told you not to try to finger my ass in public!”

Careful honey, it’s still sore from Simon Cowell last night.

Mandatory ass touching for the cameras-check.

His ass is really flabby, and she’s trying too hard to hold in up in public.

And if you were a straight man, you would enjoy walking like this.

“That’s right, now just keep it there for 5 more seconds until they stop taking pictures. This ought to shut up those stupid internet bloggers. They have to think this is totally straight, right ?”

What a farce. Oh, Julianne…you sold your soul so quickly.

She’s wearing flats. As long as she is with him, heels will be out of the question.

“Is you ass still sore from the strap on honey?? Next time I will use the lube!!”

You know, if you are walking with a girl with an ass like hers…there’s no excuse for this odd reversal.

Nothing awkward or staged here…

Section 8 Paragraph 3 of the Beard Contract:

“if we are seen walking together in public, you must grab or hold my ass for realism of our love. Within 24 hours of the photos being published, a check for $50,000 will be deposited into your bank account”

Twenty minutes later, Ryan Seacrest wondered why he was $100 short…

Women love a challenge, I guess.

Where is his damned wallet?

I just hope she washed her hands afterwards.

Sensing the paparazzi nearby, Seacrest quickly slid his purse off his shoulder and onto hers. Nobody was the wiser.

My plug’s coming out, can you give it a push?

Wish these two would self-implode.

Hover hand.