1. 1NDUN

    Please burst into flames

  2. rantatonne

    Why so glum,chum? Buck up, many have taken back way worse looking girls after they did way worse things.

  3. He just watched the documentary, “Kristen’s poon, The Director’s Cut.”

  4. EricLr

    Yeah, pretending you’re still in love to collection a $2 million bonus can be tough.

  5. Crissy

    Dude, shower already!

  6. ThisWillHurt

    Robert Pattinson after being informed that Twilight might be made into a TV series. “Just when I thought I was out . . .”

  7. “Ok Robert…now show me ‘brooding’. uh, could you ‘brood’ more? ok forget it, show me ‘the whole world knows my girlfriend is a whore’…PERFECT!”

  8. I know the feeling, dude.

  9. President Barack Obama

    He’s just sad that it’s going to be at least another month that he has to keep pretending to be straight.

  10. He just found out that he was going to have to watch one of his awful films to do the narration for a DVD release.

  11. In what gay world is this considered “The sexiest man alive?!?”

  12. Troll's Nightmare

    Did I just let that cunt back in my life for money?! I am such a slut!

  13. “It’s never going to end, never, never going to end…”

  14. Animal

    He’s as excited about “Breaking Dawn” as I am.

  15. Jade

    That awkward moment when a vampire realizes that the woman he’s created to spend the rest of his immortal life with is a cheating skank.

  16. In sunlight most vampires burst into flames. This one just broods.

  17. downwithmuffins

    emo wolverine is sad :/

  18. Swearin

    “I’ve made a huge mistake” – Gob Bluth, Michael Bluth, Rob Pattinson

  19. Reflections on a Career, v1.0.

  20. Bionic_Crouton

    “I don’t usually drink beer, but when I do I pass out after one like a pussy.”

  21. “If Kristen screams Rupert Sanders’ name one more time during sex, I’m going to kill that bitch.”

  22. “Constipation always gives me the worst goddamn headaches!”

  23. tlmck

    Yeah. Like he’s really capable of deep thought.

  24. Frenchgal

    Oh God that’s just a pathetic pose ! Did he want to chanel Rodin’s Le Penseur or what ? Pussy..

  25. Look, Robert. I’m sorry. I just don’t have any spare change.

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