1. “Listen kid, when your mommy says, ‘Because Mommy says so, that’s why,’ remember that thing right there.”

  2. Mr. Poop

    Security guard: “Yes little girl, the cow does go MOOOOOO”

  3. “No, honey, that’s not Khloe. Khloe’s like six feet tall, and much skinnier.

  4. Hugh G. Rection

    Mmmmmmmm. Bacon!

  5. anonymous

    LOL…there was a report on Yahoo! that said she lost 40lbs and only had 10 more to go.

    10lbs her ass….she’s looks 40lbs overweight now.

  6. Hahaha, haha, hahahaha, hahahaha, haha, hah, hahahaahaha

  7. “Don’t be scared little girl. If that monster breaks loose, my pistol here is full of tranquilizer darts. I promise I’ll put her down before she can hurt anybody.”

  8. EricLR

    Sweetie, you really shouldn’t look directly at the whore with no eye protection.

  9. ‘…now, kid, take my gun and aim for the head. You’re a minor – you’ll walk. We won’t have this chance again.’

  10. let’s blow the sperm whale up with dynamite! kABOOM!


  11. Holy cow. And I meant the cow part.

  12. “Mister officer, what the hell is that dress made of?”
    “Kevlar and titanium little girl and a little bit of adamantium”

  13. “Now honey, I’m gonna have to ask you to stand back. The tensile strength of the Spanx she’s wearing is only so much. If it pops, you could lose an eye.”

  14. DASH store? More like WADDLE store.

  15. Really ?

    Finally, a scared straight programme with a chance of success…

  16. 132lbsnutsack

    Wow her tits are pendulous. Victoria’s Secret is not to let your boobs hang south. They sell Miracle Bras all day every day.

  17. Queef Sister

    The kid- scarred for life
    The cop- sick to his stomach
    The paps- didn’t have to get that damn close to get a pic of that double wide ass

  18. MFer

    Those panties would make a great parachute…

  19. Joe Blow

    Nope. This one’s too easy.

  20. she looks like she has a turtle in her rear

  21. that fucking dress has panels! flexible steel, miracle panels. & she still looks awful.

  22. Imagine what this looked like before photoshop.

  23. That is one impressive display of the magical powers of engineered spandex, my friends. Just imagine what she looks looks like when she pries herself out of it. I’ll go rinse my eyes out with bleach now.

  24. She’s wearing garters to keep her thighs up.

  25. If you don’t behave yourself kid, I’ll shove you up there and you’d better hope Lemmiwinks and the Sparrow King show you the way out.

  26. Swearin

    “Stay away from black guys, kid. Or that ass is your future.”

  27. “Look kid, if she charges I’m gonna go through most of the clip trying to put her down, but I’m gonna leave two bullets for you and me. If she knocks the gun away from me you pick it up and put a bullet in my head and then a bullet in your own. Better to end it fast than to listen while she snaps off your legs just to suck the marrow out of your bones.

    But luckily there’s a black guy around to direct her and keep her focus off the crowd so we should be fine.”

  28. “Officer, can I have a balloon too?”
    “That’s no balloon little girl. That’s her ass!”

  29. Can’t stand her, and horrible underwear but i’d still give her one. As long as she doesn’t speak she’s dead sexy.

  30. “Please don’t feed the animals”

  31. “That’s no moon…!”

  32. Cock Dr

    At least we know it wasn’t a fake pregnancy.

  33. Radadoon

    Back-fat rolls, thunder thighs and a 3-day diaper for an ass. 10 pounds wouldn’t take the hair off her back…. shudder to think what touching that would do, even to a 10 foot pole….

  34. Owww she’s a BRICK ! dun dun dun CHEESE!

  35. No big deal. I’m hot for her sisters. All four of them. At the same time! She can clean up after we’re done.

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