SIR! GET YOUR HAND OUT OF YOUR ASSHOLE!
The most sober man named Boris the Chinese have ever seen.
“You no eat dumpling off of ground. Not sanitary. Stupid fat round eye.”
This man is always drunk, I love him.
The malfunctions in the Boris Johnson robot only served to enhance its eerie realism.
Drunk on Maotai before 9AM. Gotta love the Brits.
“Call me Oddjob again and I’m ripping this off and beating you with the wet end.”
“We have to go sir!”
“Wait, I’m almost done crapping my pants.”
Now look here old man, nobody at the hotel said it was strictly-speaking illegal to keester an ashtray!
If I’d known you’d react like a bunch of sodding Stalinists about it, well I’d just as soon not taken Schwartzenegger’s bet, old man.
Now Un-sodding-hand me so I can dislodge the damn thing!
“Mister Mayor…I see one right arm. Where did you leave the left one?”
“Are you sure I ate the worm?”
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