Is he…getting drunk with a puppet???

“Bartender! Where’s my drink?”

“…And that’s why Uncle Benicio had to vomit in his dressing room.”

“Barkeep! Serve me up some tranya!”

” Tommy. Tom Cruise. Is that you under there?”

Puff, puff, pass is the rule even for you my little friend.

When I find my hammer…I am going to whack you!

The name of the show; “El Hormiguero”; is that Spanish for “Interview Your Own Penis”?

“Salma Hayek has tits bigger than you.”

“Did you see Sin City……yeah those were the days.”

I love the Spaniards…they took the ‘The Shining’ and turned it into a comedy ‘El Hormiguero’.

“Homahgah, li’l puppet, you think you’re so great you’re a preshenter on a TV show … [takes swig, slams glass down] … okay get ready caush … I CAN EJACULATE FROM MY HAIR!”

” Don’t tell me to go fuck myself Eastwood…”

Too much anisette

You mean this isn’t “Charlie Rose”? I musta took a wrong turn at Pismo Beach.

I thought it was Jon Gosselin and one of his kids.

“These pretzels are making me thirsty”

I legitimately thought he was interviewing a teletubby. And those things fucking freak me out.

“They wanted me to play Moe from The Three Stooges but I felt that was beneath me. Anyway, what’s the secret word again?”