“I understand your life did not turn out as you had anticipated. Yes? Gaze deep into my dreamy eyes as I play for you the worlds smallest violin.”

Wish I could bash, but I can’t…He got Lohan at her prime…17.

For it is I, Pablo Parker, also known as the latino Spider-hombre. Look at how make my fingers to make the webbings go pa-chooey! and then i make love to you.

MOO

“Here. Take this.”

AKA Richard Grieco’s apprentice.

I drive a sports car and this is how I masturbate.

Die…just die already.

His new shadow puppet business seems to be doing well.

Oh man if you could smell those fingers… the cooches they have been in!

A little Minka Kelly, a little Avril Lavigne, a dash of Ashley Simpson. A healthy dose of Mila Kunis followed by a heavenly blend of Mandy Moore.

I bet it smells incred…. arggghhh! cough! cough! (vomits)

Why the fuck did you add Lohan to that. The masterpiece! She is ruined!

I got one in the stink, one in the pink……but just could’t bring myself to the second in the pink on the fire crotch of Lindsay Lohan.

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon