“Hi there….
I’m wearing my big boy uniform…
See you in your trailer in 5 ok?”

“mmmm…. your pocket is SOOO warm.”

Somewhere there is an old school GI Joe doll sitting naked on the floor.

is this guy making like, 6 movies a year now? 6 shitty shitty movies.

pssst i’ve got a Major Woody

Gee whiz Michael Bay, I don’t think this Upton girl is very good at washing cars. I heard Calvin Klein has some good car washers over there. I can call for you.

Ever have your asshole licked by a guy in a millitary uniform?

Cruise started wearing uniforms daily once he heard about the possible change in the Boy Scout’s policy.

Somehow, Tom Cruise’s pictures always look so gay.
Gay looks, positions, gestures.

Tom Cruise on the set of All You Need Is Lifts in London. (February 2, 2013)

fixed.

Here’s me thinking it was a Dr. Strangelove remake, with Cruise’s nuttiness perfectly reprising the Jack D. Ripper role.

“After this shoot, you wanna play with my gun?”