Oprah at The Jaipur Literature Festival in India. (January 22, 2012)
Not pictured: Tom Cruise in the chair lining….
“Yeah, my network is failing.”
ROLLING….ROLLING….ROLLING on my Sofa.
I don’t know why, but this made me crack up big time!
“I love butt-plugs!!!”
Not pictured. 8 Jewish men with herniated disks. Oy Gevalt!!
Damn, Richard Simmons got fat.
Invisible roast pig.
Much better than an invisible motorcycle.
“And then he grabs Silver by the ears and says ‘For the last time …BRING POSSE !!'”
How now o sacred brown cow?
“Oprah, tell them if they don’t do as you wish, you’ll become angry and use your magic.”
YOU get a handjob…and YOU get a handjob…EVERYONE is getting handjobs!!!
Talk about loaded with money! She’s happy cause I read that she got approval from the government to buy and rename a state. She chose Oprahoma.
Everyone in the audience is going to get a bowl of riiiiiiicceee!!!!
I’m pretty sure the most prevalent literature in Jaipur is a computer troubleshooting manual and flowchart.
Since when did Grimace start dressing like my grandmother’s couch?
I think that she would make an awesome telephone technical service representative, she could ask you a bunch of questions about how you feel about this and that, instead of putting you on hold forever or telling you that her computer has locked up just to keep you on the line to make the time quota. Good career change for her.
“C’mon, everyone. All together now…’Row, row, row your boat…’.”
Oprah reacts to the announcement of the new “Chicken Fried Moon Pie”
Someone just announced that Oprah could build another school in Africa, making for an orgasmic experience on her couch.
“I’m on a motor-cycle. Wooroo wooroo beep pull over, I’m a motor-cycle cop. Wooroo naroo vroooom, motor-cycle! Bee doo bee doo, I’m abulance motor-cycle bee doo bee doo. Hi India!”
The Scooter Macarena is about to go crazy viral, you guys.
Hold folks, this may seem rude, but I had way too much curry ‘frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaapppppp’.
I’m rich bitch!!!
Spectral fisting is not an ORTHODOX Indian cultural gesture…
I BEAT HERPES!!
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