What’s that smell? Oh, that’s right – it’s me.

I can smell him from here.

I wonder how many times they’ll have to wash that towel just to get the hair out.

“Damn. Woke up with a boner again.”

Between ‘Ludes, booze, and smoke, he is so fucked up he’s afraid that if he reclines all the way back he’ll fall of that lounge.

“Welcome to Life After Your Career, Tape #1: How to transition from being a pseudo-celebrity to a normal person. In this lesson, we’ll learn basics such as paying for your drinks, banging significantly less-attractive women, and nobody giving a shit.”

He’s like a sasquatch on Rogaine.