I’d cry too if Jay was going to be around 24/7 from now on.
Now that I’m retired honey, we can travel the world and visit ALL the car museums!
“Honey, it’s starting to rain. Why don’t you come stand under my chin?”
“Yes, honey, I know its humiliating. But you’ll just have to get used to me carrying a bigger purse than you.”
Sure you can lay your head on my chest, I just shaved it.
There is something odd about her face, I just can’t quite describe it (of course, it could be because it’s shoved into Jay’s chest, but still)
“Now, now, my penis hating feminist wife, we’ll just have to console ourselves with the $486 million I’ve saved.”
Never marry a feminist. As a matter of fact, never get married.
“A little lower, yep, a bit lower…well, it would really be to your advantage if you just got on your knees, daddy aint got all day.”
“I need to tell you a secret, honey. I almost had an affair with a younger woman.”
“And you changed your mind because you love me?”
“No, turns out I’m really unappealing to anyone under 65.”
For some reason, I thought he’d wear a fanny pack while traveling.
so it’s true he has 30 identical denim shirts and jeans.
“You want what’s in my pocket?? I bet you doooo..!”
“Don’t worry, Mavis, I’m sure I’ll hear from Fox any day now.”
yeah ok ok. watch the chin.
“Now your show is over after 22 years and you never ONCE asked me to be a guest!”
“Are you sure NBC isn’t going to call you back to host The Tonight Show?”
“Yes. Once NBC makes a decision, they stick with it.”
“Don’t cry Mavis…the doctor said it’s denim poisoning, but I can still live a full and rewarding life”
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