superficial

  1. Joey JoJo

    Haha let’s all ride scooters! Not because one of us needs to, but because it’s fun. It’s like a ride between rides.

  2. The exact moment Crystal Hefner questioned everything she’s done to this point in her life.

  3. Man, the equipment it takes to maintain Hugh’s erection gets more and more complex every year.

  4. joe

    Hugh, honey . . . are you enjoying Space Mountain?

    .

    .

    Wheeeeeee!

  5. Unfortunately, when Hef is ridin dirty, it means he needs a diaper change.

  6. How much do you wanna bet she cut the brake lines on that Hoveround.

  7. Enidaj

    I fucking hope Hugh Hefner lives to be 115 years old just so this gold digger has to suffer another 28 years to get her hands on the money. She’ll be 55 by then.

  8. angerinside

    And people thought this couldn’t get any more degrading.

  9. Is she the little buddy to his skipper?

  10. no no no…don’t show us this shit.

  11. “You know what, I just decided it’s better to burn out than to fade away!”
    *Hits the throttle*

  12. caley

    The Skipper: The Declining Years. Not seen: Gilligan in an Iron Lung.

  13. “Disneyland my ass… I know this is Walmart!”

  14. I actually designed the shirt Hef is wearing back in the ’90s. It’s the biggest selling merchandise print Playboy has ever sold and I got $500 and a promise of more if it did well. Shirts, bathing suits, pillows, shower curtains, and on and on…Never got another dime.

  15. Have I mentioned that I weep for the past? I weep for the past.

  16. Cuddles

    Have we confirmed that Hef is actually alive. I foresee a lot of Weekend at Bernie’s shenanigans with Crystal hoping to stay relevant.

  17. Theres not enough viagra in world to get that old geezer twizzler in the air.

  18. crb

    My kingdom for a Grumpy Cat Photobomb in the basket of Hef’s scooter.

  19. “I’m wearing one, and I just did.”

  20. Happy loving couples make it look so easy,
    Happy loving couples always talk to kind…

  21. Looks like there is a whole convoy of those scooter dealies. It’s the Geriatric Angels…

    • As I understand it, Disneyland has a rule where people in wheelchairs get to skip the lines. Apparently, many families game the system by hiring a disabled person to join them for the day, or just renting a wheelchair and pretending. Not sure if this rule applies to Lark scooters, but I thought I’d put this out there.

  22. Martina

    Why is he wearing that douche hat?

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