Haha let’s all ride scooters! Not because one of us needs to, but because it’s fun. It’s like a ride between rides.
Or he could just bang her if he could still get it up, and it would be a ride between rides between rides.
The exact moment Crystal Hefner questioned everything she’s done to this point in her life.
More like the exact moment Crystal Hefner began the official “countdown to Pay Day.”
She has sat on a pile of liver spotted loose skin for room and board, but it’s the hoverrounds at disneyland that made her question her life?
She probably thought he’d be dead long before now.
Man, the equipment it takes to maintain Hugh’s erection gets more and more complex every year.
Hugh, honey . . . are you enjoying Space Mountain?
Unfortunately, when Hef is ridin dirty, it means he needs a diaper change.
Which explains while they all be hatin’
How much do you wanna bet she cut the brake lines on that Hoveround.
I fucking hope Hugh Hefner lives to be 115 years old just so this gold digger has to suffer another 28 years to get her hands on the money. She’ll be 55 by then.
I am going to have my GF cross-stitch that quote and frame it for my living-room.
And people thought this couldn’t get any more degrading.
Is she the little buddy to his skipper?
no no no…don’t show us this shit.
“You know what, I just decided it’s better to burn out than to fade away!”
*Hits the throttle*
The Skipper: The Declining Years. Not seen: Gilligan in an Iron Lung.
“Disneyland my ass… I know this is Walmart!”
I actually designed the shirt Hef is wearing back in the ’90s. It’s the biggest selling merchandise print Playboy has ever sold and I got $500 and a promise of more if it did well. Shirts, bathing suits, pillows, shower curtains, and on and on…Never got another dime.
Have I mentioned that I weep for the past? I weep for the past.
Have we confirmed that Hef is actually alive. I foresee a lot of Weekend at Bernie’s shenanigans with Crystal hoping to stay relevant.
Theres not enough viagra in world to get that old geezer twizzler in the air.
My kingdom for a Grumpy Cat Photobomb in the basket of Hef’s scooter.
“I’m wearing one, and I just did.”
Happy loving couples make it look so easy,
Happy loving couples always talk to kind…
Commenting as a Guest
Sign in or Join.