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” No , I’m not dead !! Why do you think I’m already dead ?
I’m telling you , I’m alive …”
“Haley? Hey, Haley, *you* see me, right?”
“This is where they insert the screwdriver to tighten my face every three months.”
“Siri, I need directions to where they’re auditioning for a Mike D replacement.”
“…and you tell that guy to get the 1990s on the phone and get my clothes back!”
The 90′s are back in style you old fart
Someone needs to gently guide him back to his care facility.
Unbeknownst to Larry, that’s what the fat guy following him is for.
And by “gently” you mean knock his ass down and beat him unconscious?
one of very few photos of jimmy hoffa above the sidewalk.
Apparently Christopher Columbus doesn’t have his phone number listed.
“Well you tell that motherfucker that the early bird special starts when I walk through that door and knock his goddamned teeth out.”
I don’t know…he just walked up to me and said, “Chicago, you’re on the air”, crapped his pants, and then wandered off.
If this were a movie, black women would be yelling at the screen to warn him that Rush Limbaugh was right behind him.
I don’t know if this means anything, but this is the exact same place where Kelsey Grammer was photographed four pics back.
“Yes, I’m lost again. No, I don’t know who you are, but I don’t know how to call anyone else on this phone. Now I pooped myself.”
He’s interviewing the voices in Amanda Bynes head.
“And and and then the biggest boy pushed me down and took my lunch money…I was terribly terribly frightened…I thought I was gonna plotz!”
“Hello, Denise from Los Angeles, you’re on the air…and I don’t know where I parked!”
He would look awesome in Macaulay’s paint jeans.
The fat guy is keeping his distance because he has been yelling into that calculator for three blocks.
TMIP!
“Watson, come here, I need you.”
“I know, I fuckin woke up. AGAIN.”
“OK, now I can hear you better. I’m using my glasses as an antenna…”
“Hello, 9-1-1? yes, I’m looking for my pudding. Have you guys seen my pudding anywhere?”
We keep making these “dead” and “mummy” and “old guy” jokes and nobody seems to wonder why he’s looked exactly the same for the last, what, 270 years? Immortality’s a bitch.