“The Little House”, or “Stickybear’s Scary Night”? Life is filled with tough choices.
“Think if I break for Mexico I can make it?”
The look of a man who is going to run out for cigarettes and never come back.
“Is that Johnny Knoxville?”
“Only one way to find out, break a 2X4 on his head.”
“But i might not be him.”
“I’m willing to take that risk.”
What can you buy for the penis-birthed child who has everything?
How much for two 8-year-olds?
“Dammit. They saw me. All right Josh. No sudden movements. Slowly pull it out. Careful, don’t disturb any of the other stuffed toys. Slowly…::pop::…all right. Now pull up the zipper…slowly…::rip:: Son of a bitch.”
Really, I thought it was just a giant clit.
“Let’s see, stuffed animals, toys, diapers, educational videos, then there’s private school and Jesus Christ, college… Fuck! Ok, lemme think, $10k for a hitman, its my fifth time, so the next one’s free, I can do them both…”
Sir, you do realize you are using the breast pump on the wrong body part?
“The fuck I do to my life?”
“Th’fuck I do to my life?”
“I had it all: the money, the cars, the women, the career prospects… I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE NEXT COLE HAUSER, MAN!”
“I threw out every diaper we had just to get out of that house”.
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Josh Duhamel at a children's store in Brentwood, CA. (September 26, 2013) -Photo: Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFphoto, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN