I know you’re breaking up with the father, but you can’t put that back in.

…and that’s where you came from!

Shouldn’t the father teach the kid how to pee next to a fire hydrant?

Selma finds re-enacting the moment she queefed her kid out very therapeutic…

Totally missed the punt.

I thought only gazelles could walk right after they fell out.

“Get in mah belly!”

Ok, this attachment parenting thing is going too far. Peeing on your child is NOT a bonding experience!

I’ll pee on you BEFORE the jellyfish get you. Thanks Nicole Kidman!

For a broad known for her fashion sense, the pockets on those jean shorts are mildly disturbing.

She’s warming up to see how far she can kick him.

Is there a dead fish around here?

Gives birth to a toddler while standing on one leg and looking hot… take THAT Jessica Simpson!

Smell that…….that should put him out for a while.

…and he sticks the landing!!!

Axe kick to the head?

She’s really just popping those things out now, isn’t she?

I’m guessing rocking him to sleep didn’t work, so she opted for the more direct vaginal stench knock-out.

“Now climb back in there and see if my career slipped in there when you squirted out!”

Fart in the face!

Kids getting back to his roots.

“Listen.. I know you miss it but you’re not gonna fit. But you wanna try.. fuck it.”

Poor kid. He just wanted to go to the park. He didn’t need to be shown the two favorite areas Daddy likes to visit while he plays on the grass.

Hot mom and cute baby kid. I would gladly take them both in.

You came from here, do you see this? Right here!

shes pretty and doesnt age

Ahh, I see someone attended the Kardashian school of parenting

POP! Goes the weasel!

Man, that Lamaze shit works.

“This time blockhead, YOU hold the football!”

“So … why did I name you ‘Arthur’?”

“Sigh… I miss my capoeira class…”

Arthur.. Your parents are assholes. It is 2012.. ARTHUR?? They should have just called you Apple, or Moses or Bluebell Madonna.

“You can search all you want, but Mommy thinks you won’t find any tuna.”

“Son, get out of Mommy’s way…she’s practicing for a Riverdance audition.”