1. No doubt she will be People Magazine’s “Sexiest Woman Alive” next year.

  2. dontkillthemessenger

    After the concert, the Lions signed her to be their new Left Tackle.

  3. There’s really no need to make fun of her weight when there’s so much to say about the ’80s prom dress.

  4. She just got finished performing at the Buffet 5.

  5. EricLR

    Her manger warned you repeatedly to keep the craft services table out of sight of the stage.

  6. The weird thing… when she finally gets the courage to come out to the world and announce that she’s a lesbian, there are people who will be shocked, surprised and say things like, “WOW! She hid it so well!!”

  7. Odbarc

    Why do her teeth point out like that now?

  8. The Pope

    She giggles like the Pillsbury Dough Boy when you poke her in the cleavage…or where her cleavage should be.

  9. She has what I call ‘Kelly Osbourne Face’. No matter how thin she gets, her face will always look fat.

  10. Reese Witherspoon has put on weight.

  11. dave

    When the hell does (August 289 2013) happen, actually?

  12. Even ET’s finger can’t heal whatever that is.

  13. Take it down a notch. You are performing with Maroon 5, not Maroon pie.

  14. Oh shit, she spotted the Twinkies!

  15. Darth Mung

    Why are you all of a sudden posting photos of Facts of Life cast members circa 1985?

  16. tlmck

    Instead of applause, her fans simply chant “KFC, KFC…”.

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