Okay, that wasn’t me who called you, it was kids using my voice to make prank calls. What’s next, you are going to accuse me of being the angry black guy?
So this man and his uncle and his nephew go out for dinner. And Mr Chow says, “Hey Jack, what do you want to drink?”
So this man, his uncle, and his nephew go out for dinner at Mr. Chow’s. And Mr. Chow says, “Table for one, Mr. Nicholson?”
That’s how that joke should go.
You want the Chow?! You can’t handle the Chow!
I hate it when black midgets point up at me…
He cut in front of Webster.
He’d better slow down, lay off the booze, and get some rest.
He’s starting to look like DiCaprio!
“Keep in up and I’ll eat that last one, too.”
“What do you mean no fortune cookie?”
“What kind of Chinese joint is this with no fortune cookies with a name like Mr. Chow?”
“I am the motherfucking Fortune Cookie patrol!”
“This town needs an enema. Oh, wait. Maybe I just need an enema.”
You want my credit card? You can’t HANDLE my credit card!
Bryan Singer is really pushing the envelope for casting the new Cyclops for X-Men: Retirement Funds.
“Sell crazy someplace else; we’re all stocked up here!”
Yeah., So what if I’m prettier than Brooke Shields!
And here is the face that I used in the Shining.
Look Chinaman, either you get me seated in the next two minutes, or I’ll get maniacally laughing Brooke Shields to come in here and scare out the rest of your clientele!
“So I told that fucking harpy Nurse Ratchett, ‘I want to watch the GOD-DAMN World Series…’”
“How come very time I come here they tell me the buffet is closed ?”
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Jack Nicholson at Mr. Chow in Beverly Hills. (August 2, 2012) -Photo: Bauer-Griffin, Fame/Flynet, Getty, INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News, WENN