1. Right now, there’s a professional chocolate sculptor trying to update their portfolio through tear-filled eyes because they know that Dad was right about finishing college “in case you need something to fall back on”.

  2. EricLR

    I’m finally black!

  3. DoucheRocket Extraordinaire.

  4. “Oh my God! That’s so amazing! It’s exactly what I would look like if I was black…and different person!”

  5. Gives a new and disturbing meaning to BBC..

  6. Cock Dr

    This might cure a few of us of our chocohalism.

  7. And, in perfect Mario Lopez style, it has no nuts.

  8. malaka

    give me a lisa turtle mint to suck on.
    this guy is a duchenozzle

  9. anonymous

    I’m pretty sure he’s disappointed not to be able to suck his own chocolate dick.

  10. Get a good look at it while you can. The Kardashians just arrived.

  11. Where's Dildo

    Kris Jenner: “I’ll give you a spot on my show, for the marriage of that to Kendall.
    Mario: “You can have it. But I invoke prima nocta on that fine chocolate starfish.”

  12. He looks like he can’t decide whether to eat it or fuck it.

  13. CK

    The swirl at the bottom represents his vague sexuality.

  14. The artist really captured his inner and outer homosexuality.

  15. He is still gayer than that statue. This statue combines his desire to fuck himself and fuck a black guy perfectly.

  16. That’s a great sculpture of Dolph Ziggler.

  17. Vladimir

    …similar to a Dirty Sanchez, a Chocolate Lopez takes the practice to a grand scale and is a bit more labor intensive.

  18. “Omigod! I can finally eat myself!”

  19. Right now there’s a garage band who, after seeing this picture, has decided on the unfortunate name of Chocolate Cannibal

  20. dr. jones

    How did he survive the stench of saved by the bell?

  21. Stab it in the heart and cut off the head! Then eat all the chocolate to celebrate killing off the Monster of Bayside High.

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  24. cc

    Missing, the thought bubble that says ‘Geez, must be the same guy who creates gifts for that novelty store. Thank God he erred on the large side.’

  25. Hugh Jazz

    “The head is filled with creamy caramel and nuts.”
    “And what about the sculpture?”

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