superficial

  1. teddy

    yuck

  2. Dick Nose

    Most beautiful woman in the world, What a crock of shit

    • Not even the most beautiful woman in a 100 foot radius of that photograph.

      But I know “junior Gwyneths”: Mummy and Daddy are rich and tell their princess she’s so special and so beautiful that she begins to believe it and everybody else either believes it or are too scared of the rich parents to say “bullshit”.

      It’s so self-evident that Gwyneth Paltrow is a self-entitled pampered narcissist, so it doesn’t matter what she looks like on the outside. Beauty is only skin deep but ugliness goes all the way down to the bone.

      By the way: not a member of the Gwyneth Fan Club. All three members are still recruiting, though.

    • Of course any woman whose body literally resembles my 9 year old male cousin’s is the sexiest woman alive.
      Clearly Jimmy Saville runs People magazine.

  3. I bet you’re all pleased that she’s moving back to America.

    • What the fuck? When did that get decided?? No one told me anything about it. I’m an American, don’t I get a vote on this? Don’t all Americans get a vote on this? She’s British now. Her and Madonna. They’re British.

  4. Looks like every girl’s awkward, ugly stage before they grow breasts. Sweet, incomparable, distracting breasts.

  5. Of course Stella McCartney did. Benefits of Nepotism powers activate!

    • Thank you. Good to know someone else thinks Stella McCartney is a no-talent who only became famous because of her last name. Her “designs” suck.

  6. YadaYada

    Gross.

  7. Tiggles

    Her flesh overcoat is peeling away and revealing the serpentine skin beneath! See girls, this is what happens when you don’t do a weekly juice cleanse detox!!

  8. I, for one, like this picture. Mostly because I’m pretending she jumped out of a 3 story building and this shot was taken the moment before impact.

  9. I love hr tight body. Her personality is her only drawback imo.

  10. fred

    ” . . .and give me a “T”!
    What does that spell?
    C-U-N-T!”

  11. Qmak

    Not shown: Chris Martin praying that gravity stops working

  12. “See, folks, if only Jesus had avoided gluten and lactose, and had watched his mercury levels from all those fish he ate, he could have stayed up there comfortably for DAYS!”

  13. cube gleamer

    It is gauche the way celebrities show off.

  14. …not even the most beautiful woman in the photograph.

  15. Not Gwen

    Sometimes I feel like the only person who doesn’t hate this woman. I do understand it though. We don’t like seeing people who are happy and healthy because they remind us of what we’re not.

    People who are saying “ew” and “gross” in response to this picture… Really? I see a thin, fit older woman with a slight eating disorder. It doesn’t look bad though. Her body is nicer than most women half her age and she’s not even wearing makeup.

    • Jake

      I know everyone has different tastes, but she looks like a 12 y/o boy wearing his little sister’s bikini.
      I guess if you’re into sexually confused 12 y/o boys she might be attractive. For everyone else…NOT HOT, at all.

    • Juch

      I am who I am. I can’t pretend to be somebody who makes $25,000 a year.

      I like the European life. There is something that is very civilized about it. … I went home, and one of the first things someone said to me was, ‘Oh, goodness, those jeans are so cute! Who made them?’ And I was like, ‘I have to get back to Europe!’ … I love America too. It is just a more adolescent culture.

      Maybe these Gwyneth Paltrow quotes will help you understand:

      “I am who I am. I can’t pretend to be somebody who makes $25,000 a year.”

      “I like the European life. There is something that is very civilized about it. … I went home, and one of the first things someone said to me was, ‘Oh, goodness, those jeans are so cute! Who made them?’ And I was like, ‘I have to get back to Europe!’ … I love America too. It is just a more adolescent culture.”

      And btw, I’m neither unhappy nor unhealthy, yet I manage to dislike her. Your ‘anyone who doesn’t like her is jealous’ is I think more revealing about you than everyone else.

      • …could not agree more, and could’nt have said it better.

      • Not Gwen

        I know she sounds like a cunt, but I think she’s just being honest.

      • Ripley's Believe It Or Not

        @Not Gwen – the problem is she seems to lack the awareness to express those (& other) observations in such a way that doesn’t make her look bad. If someone has been born with some degree of silver spoon in their mouth, of course they’re going to struggle to empathise with someone who’s only known the heights of earning 25k a year. But there’s a way you can express that without sounding like you are either indifferent to or have contempt for the person “stuck” earning 25k. This is of course an aside to the fact she’s an actress, and it’s her very job to be able to empathise with all sorts of people/characters, in order to render them authentically/believably.

        She repeatedly fails to express herself well because she (apparently) lacks the requisite awareness of/empthy for those outside her own social milieu, and in consequence she comes off as narcissistic & pretentious. Maybe she really isn’t those things, but as this distance we have nothing else to go on but these snippets that are reported, and on that count we’re left with no other conclusions to draw.

    • So someone you describe as having a slight eating disorder has a better body than a 20 year old?
      I’m glad to see the standards train is up and running.

  16. NaCl

    Somehow she managed to make herself look more white with an Instagram filter.

  17. Where’s the de-skeletonise filter?

  18. First gluten, now gravity… what’s she cutting out next?

  19. Dildo Baggins

    How did Clay Aiken jump so high with his penis tucked like that

  20. Allion

    Too much sinew, but overall she look like a 25 year old.

  21. tlmck

    Now we know why they call it GOOP.

  22. I don’t mind saying that I’d hit that for sure!

  23. tuckermax

    Don Zaloog has lost all credibility.

  24. feral B

    Hi! I’m Gwyneth Paltrow, and I can jump! I’m also a massive blubbering cunt! So, there’s that! Yay!

  25. @#*^%(!

    I’d hit it.

    The tree, I mean.

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