1. catapostrophe

    “If you listen closely, you can look at my boobs.”

  2. Ya gotta stop with the plastic surgery, hon. Your vagina is in the middle of your chest now.

  3. “Hello? Yes, this is Has-Been”.

  4. Cock Dr

    What are those nice seniors doing at that den of iniquity?

  5. “Siri, What room is my coke dealer in?”

  6. Veronika Larsson

    “You’re right, honey, I *can* hear the ocean.”

  7. “Yes, her nipples are enormous and hard. Always. Listen! I’m looking at them right now! Hon, you’re going to have to send your boy-toy a picture, this is killing my neck.”

  8. Please stop breast feeding in public.

  9. Schadenfreude

    “And this is the sound of my lips flapping together when I walk too quickly.”

  10. “The Veronica Mars producers said congratulations on your Emmy nomination, but no, they’re not bringing you back for the movie because in case you forgot, your character was shot dead.”

  11. Robb7

    This has-been, old fracker just got nominated for an Emmy — for his role on Mad Men!!!

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