superficial

  1. what you're all thinking

    Woah

  2. ugasean

    Shouldn’t be out on the tennis court practicing?

  3. ugasean

    Shouldn’t she be out on the court practicing, that is.

  4. Anon

    What the fuck happened here? Last I remember her was when her first hit came out…. so….. I’ve been out of the loop for a while. Nevermind.

  5. Dookie

    Holy Quiznos Torpedos!!!

  6. Devast

    I don’t know but I’ve been told…

  7. harpooner

    Ask her to clap with her arms held high, it will be like a day at the manatee tank at seaworld.

  8. boing

    mrs norbit?

  9. Yeah, on top, but whose bottom half is that?

  10. Richard McBeef

    At least her feet have remained the same size.

  11. bbiowa

    Hey, you hang out with a piano too long and you start to look like one.

  12. What’s weird is that with those sandals on she has a camel toe . . . on her foot. Strange.

  13. bassackwards

    coming soon “CAUTION WIDE LOAD”

  14. mr natural

    R. Crumb would approve and piggyback

  15. Venom

    What the holy hell?

  16. ad nasuem

    sausage legs or thicankles, take your pick.

  17. Jack

    They couldn’t leave well enough alone, could they? NOW stars are getting feet transplant surgery. But tell me this: WHY would she choose Yosemite Sam’s?

  18. This picture is clearly photoshopped…she’s not even HOLDING that bag.

    also, damn she’s got a big ass.

  19. rough/game of trolles

    Alicia Keys, a Veteran fireman made it to the final of survivor and they are asked to create fire without any device. Who wins?

  20. MrsWrong

    I LOVE HER. Honestly(and every one gets ONE) she’s my favorite>>> I WILL listen to and MEMORIZE EVERYcrappy song EVEN if she talks during it. That being said… If you are famous(my interpretation is YOU are being paid to entertain me 24/7, that’s the fine print, if u didn’t read it, it’s not my fault), you need to stay in shape. If you are not in shape you have a few options.
    1. Creative decorating- Here she could wear a skirt. That is the short term plan. For the long term you could either work out, or develop a quirky sense of style.
    or
    2. Fall of the face of the earth
    The life plans for this are many. 1. Participate in internet fatty porn(easy) 2.Get a real job (harder) 3. Save your money(hardest)
    Bottom line: THERE IS NO EVER-LOVING REASON I SHOULD HAVE TO SEE A MULTI-MILLIONAIRE’S LARD!!!

    • Pat

      Mrs Wrong, YOU are totally RIGHT! I love her music. And I am mortified by this pic. Helloooooo, long skirt, loose, flowy top…called CAMOUFLAGE!

  21. Anna

    OMFG!!! why would she wear shorts like that? she is in denial

  22. PoorMaryKelly

    If the music thing ever quits working for her, she could be one of those huge assed women that sits on scrawny little men for a living

  23. JC

    My cottage cheese is fallllin’ in and out of love with my thighs…

  24. Ray… What have you done?

  25. Mel Gibson's Shrink

    WHY do women with the most hedious legs insist on wearing short shorts?! Does she own a mirror? Can she not see that she looks vomit-inducing?!

  26. Senor Trout

    Swizz Beatz hopefully signed a Preez-Nupz.

  27. tlmck

    She has always been this big as far as I know. They always hid it well behind the piano and dark clothing.

    • dontlooknow

      True. She has always been big on the bottom. It must be very very hot where she is to make her lose her mind and wear shorts in public.

  28. maeby

    :( her poor skinny ankles

  29. cc

    She has the proportions of an iceberg.

  30. hijkmno

    maybe she got stung by a swarm of bees. a BIG f*cking swarm.

  31. Porkpie

    Did you use Photoshop to shorten Alicia Keyes’ legs? I know she’s a squatty-body, but she looks like Peter Dinklage here. Or did you take some elephant legs from another photo and make them look like hers?

  32. Jam

    Someone certainly didn’t lose the pre (post?) pregnancy weight.

  33. NYC I Banker

    Now we know why — SHE SITS AT A PIANO …

  34. btreese

    Looks like Buddy Love hasn’t completely morphed back into Sherman Klump….

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