1. “She’s looking at you.”
    “No she’s not!”
    “Yes she is”
    “No she’s not”
    “She’s not you’re right, you’re a fat fuck.”

  2. “Ahahahahahahahaha.”
    “Ahahahahahahahaha.”
    “Aww.”
    “Ahem.”

  3. Being Jonah Hill’s wingman has got to suck.

  4. He will never be Leo.
    Evidence: That woman’s legs are still closed, she has the smile of a woman who doesn’t give a fuck and he’s not floating above the table perspiring orgasms and dreams.

  5. Nonnie Moose

    “Yeah, I said I’m a serious actor…”

  6. “HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

    Seriously, if that waitress doesn’t bring me my food soon, I’m going to kill and eat every motherfucker in this place.”

  7. Minky Wail

    Well I guess the only advantage to other patrons is that he keeps the flies off their food.

  8. “I was here the other day with Marty, that’s Martin Scorsese, and we were talking about doing a project with Willie and Leo, oh sorry, that’s Will Smith and Leonardo DiCaprio, and I was like, wait, let me call L-Gags and T-Swift for the soundtrack! I was just with them and Brangie on Depp Charge’s island.

    That’s Johnny Depp.”

  9. cc

    That girl is cute and natural looking. A tourist.

  10. My assumption is that Jonah Hill and Rob Kardashian have a “Biggest Man Tits” contest going. (Even though either are gonna run second to Ervine Johnson III.)

  11. caley

    “Your hands are so smooth!”
    “Stop it I’m a serious actor…seriously? You think they’re smooth?”

  12. Swearin

    One of these things is not like the others!

  13. dontkillthemessenger

    Weird… she has no chin, yet he has plenty to spare.

  14. “You Jonah…Have the part of the Rhino in my next Spider-man movie!”
    “Wow! Thank you Mr. Maguire!

  15. All he needs is a hat and his Chris Griffin costume will be complete.

  16. Lou Braccant

    It’s like a magic mirror that shows you a reflection of who you really want to be

  17. Shaving just your upper lip and the front of your chin is an interesting look; almost Amish.

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