what are you looking at, MANG

He’s just keeping an eye on his wife…just to see if she accidentally smiles.

“Dude, my balls itch. I’m tired of the paps catching me scratch ‘em. So you bend over like you’re tying your shoes and do it for me.”

He’s really aged poorly.

Have we not seen enough of this guy? You can’t even stop for a Whopper anymore without David Beckham popping up. Next thing will be his portrait on toilet paper

Pretending to be French won’t help you make their squad either, Mr. Beckham. Now get out there and play hard. The executives from White Castle are here, and we need to really sell them on the value of a Galaxy sponsorship.

“Hey. Hey. Psst. Want a little Captain in ya?”

Tsar Nicholas II plays soccer? I thought his bullet-riddled self was lying under a slab in St. Petersburg (the cold one in Russia).

My big, fat mustache compensates for my little, squeaky Brit voice.

Would all seven Americans who like soccer, please stand up..

Beckham about to give a banana smoothie to a team mate

Self obsessed media whore-footy player. He’s everything that’s wrong with sports wrapped up in one bag of water and DNA.

never understood why chicks get all wet for this guy.

Beckham come hither