1. Those aren’t real tears.

    They’re the tears of midgets she had injected under her eyelids to simulate crying.

  2. It makes me cry when I pay somebody for something and I get it too.

  3. cc

    Shouldn’t there be a little though bubble over her head saying ‘And I damn well deserve it too!’

  4. Rick

    Whatever’s making her cry, quadruple it!!

  5. Jon Hamm had a simultaneous ceremony four blocks away. This is the resulting cleanup.

  6. Jenny from the Hollywood Walk of Fame doesn’t have the same ring to it.

  7. Her boyfriend crossed the street all by himself!

  8. “Casper’s first day at school?…I know it’s difficult, but buck up, Jen. You’ll both be just fine.”

  9. “Little puffs of dust are the same thing as tears, right?”

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