1. “Wait a second…her mouth was on…and then I kissed her with *my* mouth so…oh god I’ve got to review my entire life….wait where am I again? Think, Robert, think!”

  2. JC

    “Oh, God, I just burped and tasted dead-faced, emotionless pussy again. When will it stop?”

  3. dontkillthemessenger

    He’ll never look at a parked car the same way again.

  4. He just saw the acting in the “Twilight” movies.

  5. Bishop

    Clearly Robert can smell Lindsey’s pussy from way over there.

  6. Did he wash his hair? MY WHOLE LIFE IS A LIE.

  7. I told him to flick a Mentos in there pre-cunnilingus, but does he ever listen to me? Nooooo…

  8. Aaron

    This was Robert Pattinson’s reaction when he realized Harry Potter was the best thing he’s ever done.

  9. “I can’t believe not even my parents showed up to watch this stupid movie!”

  10. JimBB

    When recovering from alcoholism, addicts must come to terms with the horribly stupid things that they did during their years under the influence.

  11. Fritobandito

    beatbox like dis raught chea burr ski ski burrr

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