Tom’s Boston accent is distracting:
When daddy tries to hit me, I just put a shirt on with numbers on it.
Best shit I’ve read on this site ahahhahahahahhaa
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Benjamin: “Turn around. If you still have that ponytail I’m going to introduce you to my friend… Mr. Brick.”
“Sorry son, but daddy doesn’t do slides anymore.”
“Make sure to put your hands up really high and scream really loud. It makes it more fun that way!”
“I’m not a girl, dad”
That’s actually not his son. Giselle told him to kidnap Wes Welker’s kid for some reason.
Which kid is this?
I think it’s the bastard one.
“I will not drop you like Wes dropped that pass, now jump dammit!”
“No son, you can’t be any higher than T.O.”
“No, Daddy, don’t slide the slide anymore. All the other boys make fun of me when you do.”
Ha ha… good times!
“Hi, Daddy. Your agent called and wants me to tell you that you’re fired.”
C’mon son, it’s time for me to give John Travolta a massage.
Kid: “Look dad, I’m giant”
“I’ll ask you again. Is daddy’s hair piece up there or not?”
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