1. Jade

    Has anyone ever seen him with a shirt buttoned up? I feel like he should be in 70′s porn.

  2. cmonreally

    Simon: “Just need her to stay focused on the camera, and if I can get just a little farther away, I can run for it…”
    Lauren: “Where are you going?”
    Simon: “Fuck.”

  3. A leading sign of being a douchebag is having a neck line lower than the married (to someone else) woman you knocked up.

  4. She needs to show more cleavage if she wants us to not look at Simon’s man boobs.

  5. So he has to drag her around everywhere now?

  6. Flatliner

    That is so nice of Lauren to take her pet douche out for a walk.

  7. The chest is exposed just in case their baby needs to be breast fed.

  8. He’s sort of like Destro for the real world.

  9. fred

    Ruh roh. Look out Lauren: his shirt is in full-blown “I’m banging multiple bitches” mode.

  10. Was trying to figure out why he always wears the same hairstyle and wears awful pants and someone said the hair gives him and extra inch or 2 of perceived height and the pants are intentionally long to hide his lifts. So he is an even bigger vain fucking twat than we thought he was before.

  11. strictly judging by looks, she is kind of pretty.

  12. All that’s missing is the smell of Aqua-Velva and a gold chain.

  13. I love how in every pic of them together he looks absolutely fucking thrilled out of his mind to be stuck with just one chick.

  14. bob

    Is it just me or is his head sort of super fucking massive

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