That dude in front is about to get full aerosol spray herpes in his ear. Explain that to your doctor.

Breaking news…Paris Hilton attempts an upskirt and FAILS.

I’ve seen her look bad in the past, but I think this is the worst picture I’ve seen in…mmmm…forever? She looks awful.

[img]http://www.thesuperficial.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/25/Medical-Face-Shield-11043–2-340_340.jpg[/img]

Everyone hop on the Valtrex carousel.

I don’t get it. She’s not an actor, musician or model. Why is she there?

Is there some sort of EU herpes quota I’m not aware of?

Paris did have her legs wrapped around a stripper pole, but it suddenly disappeared.

Does she really need to be surrounded by a security detail? The world-renowned herpes isn’t enough?

The difference is the Merry-go-round couldn’t take all those guys at once

That security guard on the left is thinking “I can turn my head away to keep from seeing it, but dear God I can’t close my nose too!!”

She saw a pole. It’s a reflex.

Paris Hilton along with Kim Kardashian proving that Cannes is not just limited to people with talent!

I’m a little disturbed that there isn’t a single black man saying it all with his eyes anywhere in the background. I mean there’s like 40 people there.

There’s enough plastic in those sunglasses to make like two more of her.

“All right, all right fellas! You all know the drill; Line-up for the vagina on the right, line-up for the bung hole of the left. No looky-loos and no shoving and we’ll all get a turn. Thank you!”

She’s dancing the Cannes-can’t.

“Mommy, can I ride on the one with the rotting saddle?” –Toddler, a day after this event

Fat thighs, there Paris. Time to retreat to the celery diet.

This generation’s Zsa Zsa Gabor

Even security turns away from the stench.

The two guys on the left with shades, one is looking away and the other is blocking his view. Too bad they cannot escape the stink of the STD petridish.

DOGGIE DOGGIE

BAHAHAHA Photoshoot?! Or Photo opportunity!!