1. Do not try to find Jada’s breasts, for that is impossible. Instead try and realize the truth…. she has no breasts

    • Au contraire, mon ami. She’s very lean, probably has an incredibly low BMI. She has breasts on the small side of average. Or maybe on the large side of small. Or maybe just small.

      But so does Stacy Keibler, and I’d be all over her like bugs on a windshield.

      • GTFOH! To say this creepy bitch is “lean” is like saying Rosie O’Donnell is “curvy”! Jada was always on the scrawny side but now she just looks repulsive. If you’re attracted to this shit you just have a crackhead fetish. Go hang around any methadone clinic near your town. You’ll thank me for it.

      • Someone take this woman to In-N-Out and feed her cheeseburgers for 6 months.

      • Hey, Tony, Kind of over-reacting a bit, aren’t you? Did I hit a raw nerve? Did someone take a shit in your oatmeal or something? Or maybe your just a rotten cocksucker on the natch.

    • They’re under her armpits.

  2. AM

    wow she’s beautiful

  3. So the Borg Queen survived?

  4. Brian Blessed's Bastard Boy

    Serena Williams, after the sex change.

  5. EricLr

    Kneel, son of Jor-El!!

  6. Cock Dr

    She displays the softness & sensuality of a cheese grater.

  7. Well, I am officially gonna have to believe Will Smith is gay now… The wife gets her tits deflated (ala Katie Holmes) which is textbook Scientology.


  8. “Mirror, mirror, on the wall, I don’t want to be in an open relationship anymore.”

  9. Crissy

    See, this is Crap, I really wish I had missed!!! Thanks Fish!

  10. yeue

    what a gorgeous woman

  11. Rick

    I”m half-expecting this zombie to break out in the Thriller dance.

  12. Thats the first crack whore Cylon Raider I’ve ever seen

  13. Matty

    If Brendan Fraser runs out he money (he will) and they have to make another Mummy movie Jada’s a shoe in.

  14. Matty

    Damn she’s sexy

  15. EricLr

    what a Goddess

  16. Cock Dr

    Ethereal beauty

  17. metoo

    Are they filming another Matrix?

  18. JesusCan'tHitACurveball

    Whoever built that android put the ovaries on the outside.

  19. Irony : [noun, plural i·ro·nies.]
    Being IN Cannes but yet possessing none.
    (See also Flapjacks)

  20. Herman Bumfudle


  21. Frank Burns

    So fucking HOT

    • Frank Burns

      Heh, a name thief. Actually, I would have said “Don’t worry, Jada, some day you hit puberty and those boobs will grow in.”

  22. Mike701

    Low cut dress+breasts that look like pockets on a flannel shirt = Fail!

  23. Canless in Cannes.

  24. Swearin

    Nobody tell Morpheus that the machines got to Niobi

  25. Bonky

    Take a good look at that woman and tell me Will is not gay.

    • Trivia

      Now we all know she didn’t look like that when Will married her. She actually did look good at one point.

  26. theoriginal LJ

    Kinda looks like a 50 year old woman who had six kids in six years.

  27. Joaquin ingles

    “You better hurry and get oiled up. The posedown is in fifteen minutes!”

  28. catapostrophe

    Now THAT’S what I call a lesbian!

  29. The Pope

    “Are you the Keymaster?”

  30. Dick Hell

    The queue for the can in Cannes… glamorous.

  31. Mumbler

    “The Re-Animator” featuring Whitney Houston

  32. Grand Poobah

    way too much testosterone here in this picture!

  33. R.

    Hahahaha what’s with the nose?

  34. Grand Poobah

    Hottest woman I’ve ever seen

  35. Crissy

    She’s truly breathtakingly gorgeous

    • You’re truly breathtakingly blind.

    • Actually you may not be blind, just breathtakingly anorexic. With an equally breathtaking tendency for self-cutting.

      • Crissy

        I think you’re taking this a little too far, Tony.


      • Mike Walker

        Spoken like someone who knows.

      • Yeah, I’ve seen enough self-loathing women around here to know what type would think a crackhead actually looks attractive.

      • Ya know, Tony, most of the people in here try to use a bit of restraint when opinions differ. The world is made up of all sorts of folks, with different likes and dislikes. But, as the old saying goes, differing opinions is what makes politics and horse races. Over the years I have seen a lot of assholes (like YOU) post to this column, and eventually they disappear, never to be heard from again.

        So why don’t you just leave now and save us all a bunch of time. Buh-Bye now…

  36. K-Tron

    She must have found this dress in Will’s “secret” closet, right beside the map of the galaxy, the E-meter and the studded paddle.

  37. SupaDupa

    JADA: The only man allowed to kiss Will on the lips.

  38. Dirk Diggler

    She has a very intense look

  39. ChickenHawk

    Hey, it’s Flatty McChesterton!!

  40. bigalkie

    Scuse Me.. I have a conference call with Kris Jenner, Michael and Dina Lohan. We’re the super best friends of pimping.

  41. tlmck

    Something tells me she gets the shorter stick during swap sessions.

  42. Oz Matters

    Why would you want to flash to the world something that would even be embarrassing for a 90 year old Papua New Guinea tribe women to show?

  43. KC

    JLo’s dress from 12 years ago. JLo’s boobs from 12 years from now.

  44. CranAppleSnapple

    My dress is not on backwards. My head is.

  45. Sam Hain

    Jada Pancake Tits

  46. CranAppleSnapple

    EW! Look at the disembodied nose on the right hand side of the screen!
    If that was my profile, I would smash my face with a brick and start over.

  47. B-rad

    I suddenly crave flapjacks.

  48. Vivian

    Apparently Alien Chic is all the rage now.

  49. scientology leader: “pssst…someone tell her that when i said that ladies should never do a v-back, i was talking about the birth of xenu spawn!”

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