1. Henry

    “Oh! I think they’re dropping!”

  2. “If you’re happy and you know it, clap your hands!”

  3. Deacon Jones

    (I can’t believe these assholes circumsized me last night. What’s WITH these people?)

  4. ANJ

    “And I was like dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, oh
    Like dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, no
    Like dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, oh
    I thought you’d always be mine, mine.”

  5. Gavagai

    Protection against the random bris. Safety first!

  6. Such a spiritual young man. Is this his Sermon on the Mount?

  7. cc

    A sequined hanky in his back pocket. Is that the new signal for ‘I’m a twink’?

  8. Matty

    “Damn! I told that boy to stay the hell out of my closet.” says Usher somewhere backstage.

  9. dontlooknow

    Is it possible for anyone to do a live show without grabbing their crotch!!!???

  10. DKNY

    Usher makes him wear a ball gag now?

  11. Charmless Man

    How much money does it take to erase embarrassment?

  12. Vern

    Life’s all about freedom, y’all. And being true to thine own self. You can quote me on that.

  13. TomFrank

    Look out, backup singer! You’re about to stumble over Usher’s cock!

  14. Lita

    I touched myself, Usher! I’m a man now! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  15. lori

    WTF is up with all the stupid, talentless little pipsqueaks grabbing their crotches all the time???? It wasn’t sexy when Michael Jackson did it a quarter of a century ago and it is even less so now with the mindless copycats who can’t stand on their own talent. F*ck the music industry and these pathetic manufactured pop stars!!!!!!

  16. “I’m going to grab it, all right! I just have to find it first.”

  17. Jenny with a Y

    “I just want to wank where Jesus wanked, can’t you leave me alone?!”

  18. sc4play

    Hey Doofus, 1985 called and they want their high-top tennis shoes back!

  19. youcandieNOW

    Awww, he spent so much time bedazzling his little sneakers he forgot to go take a tinkle before he had to go on stage.

  20. s'up bitches

    He’s like a little Liberace Jesus. Now could someone PLEASE nail him to a cross!

  21. I’m going to file this under ‘conspiracy to commit infanticide’.

  22. Buttercup


  23. SuperT

    For the Lord himself will come down from Canada, with the voice of a castrati and with the sequin handkerchief of justice. And the teen girls will rise first. After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up with them in the clouds of glitter to meet the Lord in the air. But we will not reach him, for we do not have a G-5. So it has been written.

  24. So Jesus grabbed his balls, ate pringles and wore a ball gag?

  25. Jesus told him to wear the sparkly cape.

  26. whiskeyafternoon

    one would think the Deity would have better taste in clothes.

  27. mordantmouth

    Don’t worry about that, it’s just reflex. He does that every time there’s a black guy behind him.

  28. Senor Trout

    Mouth open, hand on crotch, other hand on ass…looks like the Bieber love-doll that Usher had custom-built is finally ready.

  29. …And this is where my penis should be. If I had one.

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