1. “Mr Secretary, you’re rich and powerful but, this is what I go home to every night, so that’s not happening…”

  2. “Did that olive just move??”

  3. Tiggles

    Jolie: “Agents Jay-Z and Beyonce got busted in Cuba! Pretend like you don’t know anything, until Commander Johansson makes it to the beach in her bikini.”

    Kerry: “Hunh?”

  4. “Has your penis always had this curve in it?”

  5. I thought I recognized that miserable old goat. And hey, John Kerry’s there, too.

  6. “Explain this again. You played Lara Croft and….now you’re here? Help me understand.”

  7. Cock Dr

    I would watch that sex tape.

  8. TP Bandit

    Mr. Secretary, I need to adopt from South America to complete my collection. I’m up for a good auction but I’m also willing to trade. Can you help me?

  9. Since when is Jay Leno allowed to go to G8 summits??

  10. “When did drinking Sea Monkeys become a thing?”

  11. ScotlandThe Brave

    Is Kerry’s hair real?

  12. “Oh, look—your nameplate says ‘Mrs. Clinton.’ “

  13. I cant figure out why North Korea thinks they can beat us in a war.

  14. There can be no doubt, at least three quarters of the people in show business are heartless, soulless, dumb assholes.

  15. Jman

    “What’s that on your iPhone Senator?”
    “Seal Team Six heading for Pyongyang.”

  16. cc

    ‘There’s a fly in my ice cube.’
    ‘I put it there.’

  17. tlmck

    “Mr. Secretary, you will vote my way or I will squeeze them until your head pops off.”

  18. wtf is Skeletor doing at the G8?

  19. Swearin

    “I have to confess: I voted for Bush in ’04.”
    “I rooted for Aniston in ’05″
    *awkward silence*

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