1. fartbucket

    This is what their faces look like when they wake up every morning.

  2. it had to be said

    Hey honey, should I wear the douchey top hat, or the douchey . . . douche hat?

  3. Dick Hell

    You sorta wish she’d married O.J. Simpson instead of simply settling for somebody NAMED Slash.

  4. “…and since this is as far as my mouth opens, I dumped Tommy Lee and started dating Slash”

    Alternate joke: something about black microphones.

  5. “I’ll kick a fat bitch right in the coin purse!”

  6. She’s got a locking jaw, it stays that way until you smack her in the back of the head.

  7. zing


  8. Someone throw her a fish so she’ll shut that fucking pie hole.

  9. journalschism

    “You gotta let me in, I’m Slash. No? Ok, then I’m Joey Ramone. He’s dead? Shit. Um, have you met my wife, CocoFergie?”

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