1. “Hello 911? Russell Brand has been chasing us with an erection for 12 blocks!”

  2. phantomduck

    Does he chew her food, too?

  3. JC

    “Sookeh, ah am tahred of peddlin’ and would like a tahll, frosty TruBlood, please.”

  4. Eejut

    To the GOOP mobile!

  5. JimBB

    And I thought *my* first wife was fucking lazy.

  6. “Hello, Nero? Grab your kerosene and your fiddle, we’ve got work to do.”

  7. Little Tongue

    “I know I’m late, can’t get the bitch to pedal faster. Sorry.”

  8. Wait till i get to the top of this hill bitch!

  9. You can tell when civilization is more evolved when they have special carriers to take the Christians into the arena. Important to save their energy for the lions.

  10. “I’ve got a big day ahead of me. I have some housecleaning androids to supervise while Stephen is just being his usual lazy self.”

  11. Jenn

    I pushed two ..that’s right TWO fuckin kids out my hoohah. You can push me around in the buggy for a change, Stephen!
    Yes, dear.

  12. “You want a ride, fine – but anything we hit, you’re first to go.”

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